You’re holding down a job, a family, a household, a calendar full of life. You’re across the details, the logistics, the emotions, the quiet care that keeps everything moving forward. You often find yourself completely drained.

And when you stop to count what you “got done”, it doesn’t always feel like it should add up to this level of exhaustion.  You’re not training for an ultra marathon, after all.  

But here’s the truth: it’s not just physical exertion that depletes our energy. We’ve been conditioned to believe that unless we’re ticking boxes or running marathons, we haven’t earned our tiredness. But that doesn’t reflect the reality of our lives.

Finally, Something That Explains It: The Energy Chart by BE Ainsworth*

The Energy Chart offers language for something many of us have felt for years but couldn’t quantify or name. It shows us that energy isn’t just about the physical, but also:

Emotional energy: the kind that goes into caring, worrying, holding space.

Mental energy: the kind that plans, organises, makes constant decisions.

Social energy: the energy of conversations, expectations, interactions.

Creative, spiritual, identity-based energy: all the parts of us being pulled, shaped, and stretched as we grow and care for others.

This chart validates the invisible work we do, the energy we give, and why we’re so often running on empty - even if we haven’t left the house.

It’s a simple but powerful way to rethink what’s really draining us. This expanded version, developed by Dr. J. Calder and based on the work of Dr. B.E. Ainsworth, includes all types of energy we use up each day. It helps explain why so many of us feel completely wiped, even on the “quiet” days, or when we feel we’re just ‘going through the motions’, because managing decisions, emotions, relationships, and simply holding it all together takes real, invisible effort. 

Understanding this matters - not just for how we care for ourselves, but how we show up for each other. Because when we start to recognise what’s really costing us energy, we can begin to rest better, support better and gift better, too.

So, What Does This Have to Do with Gifting?

At We are The Helpful, we believe in gifts that truly meet the ones we love where they’re at.  And not just for birthdays or Christmas, but the everyday in-betweens; the silent heaviness, the shifts in identity, the deep care that isn’t always seen.

Our She Needs gifting philosophy starts with this truth: what she needs might not be a celebration - it might actually be support, or self care or even connection.  And when we understand that, gifting becomes a powerful, personal act of care.

Gifts That Ease the Load, Never Add

We curate thoughtful gifts that soothe, restore and support, designed not just to look good, but to feel good, too:

• Gifts that ease the weight of mental load
• Gifts that offer comfort, even from afar
• Gifts that say “I’ve got you,” when they’re holding it all
• Gifts that take care of them while they're taking care of everyone else

Whether it’s for yourself or someone in your inner circle, our curated edits are here to reflect what’s really happening in life, and to gently respond to it.

Because helpful gifts aren’t about stuff. They’re about support.  And it’s here connection grows, impact is made and we’re reminded that our relationships are truly what make a life.

This Is the New Way to Show Up

We know that showing up for someone can feel hard when you don’t know what to do or say. The truth is, you don’t need to make it perfect or seek approval - you just need to be present in a way that recognises all she’s carrying.

And when we begin to see energy in all its forms - and show up and gift in response to that - something shifts.

We feel more connected.

More understood.

Less alone.

So whether you’re supporting someone through early motherhood, illness, loss, or just the everyday juggle - or maybe you’re choosing to care for yourself (and if that’s the case, good for you) - we hope you find something that feels like a deep breath.

Because being helpful is more than kind.  It’s powerful. It’s thoughtful. And it’s exactly what she needs.

Kate x

*Source: Energy Points Chart adapted by Dr. J. Calder for the Post-COVID-19 Interdisciplinary Clinical Care Network, based on the Compendium of Physical Activities by Dr. B.E. Ainsworth et al.