“Things will calm down soon.”

I’ve said it more times than I can count over the past three years.  You probably have too.

Soon I’ll rest. Soon I’ll ask for help. Soon I’ll properly show up. Soon I’ll take care of my body, my friendships, my nervous system, my actual needs.

It sounds reasonable. Sensible. Responsible.

But after years of listening to women talk honestly about their lives, I can tell you this with complete confidence:  'Soon' is the story we tell ourselves so we can survive the now.

The Shape-Shifting Nature of “Soon”

Because here’s what actually happens - “soon” becomes:

• after the baby phase
• after this work deadline
• after the health scare
• after peri settles
• after grief gets “easier”
• after the house move
• after the kids are older
• after life feels lighter

And yet life doesn’t really lighten.  It just changes shape.  Different pressures. Different emotions. Different forms of tired.

But the load?  Still there.

What I’ve Learned From Listening to Women

This is the part I’m completely obsessed with.

I didn’t just sit down one day and dream up a gifting platform.  Instead, I sat down with women and listened to them; on the bus, at the nursery gates, in group chats and DMs, across social, in surveys, interviews and focus groups, through academic research (and more than once while making a new best friend in a pub bathroom at midnight...).

I asked:

• What actually helped when life hit?
• What didn’t?
• What did you silently wish someone would do for you?
• What made you feel genuinely seen and supported?
• What made the difference?
• What left the biggest impact?

And the answer, over and over, is this: support, gifts and helpful gestures matter most while life is still happening, not once it’s “calmed down", and not only on the days the calendar tells us we have to (looking at you, Christmas and Birthday).

It's not the grand gesture later. Not the “let me know if you need anything”. But the practical injection of support and love in real time.  Like:

• Food arriving.  
• Help being organised. A decision being taken off their plate.
• Permission for true self care. Someone thinking one step ahead for them.

The Quiet Lie We’ve Normalised

Here’s one of the most damaging cultural stories women have absorbed: needing support means you’re not coping well enough.

So we tell ourselves: “I’m fine.” “It’s just a busy patch.” “I’ll deal with it.” “Others have it harder.” “It’ll settle soon.”

And the months stack up, the exhaustion becomes normal and the weight becomes invisible - even to us.

But coping is not the same as being supported.  And surviving is not the same as being held.

What Actually Helps (According to Real Women)

When you strip away trends, aesthetics and “nice ideas”, what women consistently say they need is this:

• less stuff, more relief
• fewer questions, more action
• less performance, more permission
• fewer pretty gestures, more practical ones
• less “thinking of you”, more “I’ve organised this for you”
• Less fake, more real
• Less thinking and juggling. 

And it’s this sentiment that has shaped We are The Helpful and our ‘She Needs’ gifting philosophy.

Helpful Gifting Isn’t About the Gift

Helpful gifting is not about the object.  It’s about the moment someone realises: “I don’t have to carry this one alone”.

It’s about:

• meals arriving when cooking feels impossible
• support stepping in before burnout takes over
• someone anticipating a need you don’t yet have words for
• a small but meaningful reduction in emotional and mental load
• a self care ritual and permission to enjoy it
• products and services designed for specific moments in life - not a a 'one size fits all' approach
• nourishment and self care that looks after you while you’re too busy looking after everyone else

It doesn’t shout.  It doesn’t perform.  It quietly holds you when you need it.

Why This Matters So Much to Me

Because I tell myself the story too.

“When things calm down…” “When this settles…” “When I get through this next chapter…” “I can’t complain or ask for help because others have it worse…”

And yet everything I research, build and witness reminds me:

This is the chapter. This is the season. This is when support matters.

Not later.  Now.

A Gentle Question

Who in your inner circle is currently telling themselves: “Things will calm down soon…”, and what would actually help them today - not after life behaves itself?

Because life rarely does.

Why We Are The Helpful Exists

I didn’t create We are The Helpful to compete with traditional gifting or add to the already very noisy retail category.

I created it to solve one deeply human problem: we want to show up for the people we love. but we’re often not sure how to do that in genuinely helpful ways.

Everything here exists to make that easier:

• when the moment feels awkward
• when the need feels blurry
• when words feel insufficient
• when you want to ease the weight, not add to it
• When you want to take care of them because they’re too busy caring for everyone else
• When you want to send something, but don't even know where to start looking

It’s not just about making things look nice.  It’s about making them feel less alone and more supported.

So, if you’ve been waiting for things to “calm down” before resting, receiving, asking, helping, or showing up differently - here’s your gentle truth: they probably won’t, and you’re allowed support anyway.

Always.

Kate x Founder, We are The Helpful 

I listen to what women need - and am building this gifting platform from their answers.