Knowing how to support someone experiencing grief and loss can feel overwhelming.

What do they need? What should you say? What should you not say? It’s natural to worry about getting it wrong.

But here’s the truth: there are no perfect words. The worst thing you can say? Nothing at all.

A lack of acknowledgment can cut deep. It might not be obvious in the immediate chaos of loss, but down the track, the silence speaks volumes. When someone is facing one of life’s hardest moments—losing a loved one—hearing from those they hold close can make all the difference.

I get it though—truly (guilt and shame aren’t welcome here). Many of us simply don't know how to navigate grief—how to acknowledge it, how to hold space for it, or how to sit with its discomfort. And because we care so deeply, we want to do something to make it better, to help carry the weight.

But grief isn’t something that can be fixed. It’s not a problem to be solved. It’s a part of life that must be lived through, and that journey can feel isolating and overwhelming.

While we can’t take away the pain, we can lighten the load. We can help someone feel seen, supported, and less alone. Thoughtful sympathy gifts can be a meaningful way to show up—offering comfort when words fall short. Whether it’s a small gesture or a more intentional offering, the right gift for grief can remind someone they are not alone in their sorrow.

Based on my personal experience and countless conversations when building We are The Helpful, here are some of the most meaningful ways to show up:

CONNECTION

• Words matter: A simple text, a letter, a card, a phone call - anything.  Acknowledging their loss, even with something as simple as “I don’t have the right words, but I want you to know I’m here”, is powerful.
• Quality time: Maybe it’s sitting in silence side by side on the couch. Maybe it’s regular walks or wild swims. You know them best - choose and suggest what feels right. Grief is isolating, and simply physically being there can make a world of difference.
• Small gestures: Random heart emojis, funny memes, or a gentle check-in without expectations. Don’t be discouraged if they don’t respond. Just knowing someone is thinking of them means more than you realise.

FOOD + NOURISHMENT

One of the most common answers when people are asked what helped them through grief is food.

• Pre-made meals for the fridge or freezer
• A mix of healthy and indulgent treats to just grab when needed, and;
• Healthy, ready-to-eat meals for kids
• High quality supplements to provide a little extra support against total physical and mental depletion

Grief is exhausting. Making sure they eat, even when they don’t feel like it, relieves one of the many mental loads they’re carrying.  And if the griever is a parent of young children, supporting them with some go-to kids food items is a total game changer to help them stay afloat.  

SELF-CARE

It might seem small, but grief pushes self-care to the bottom of the list. Actually, it could be more accurate to say that self care falls off the list completely.  Thoughtful gifts that encourage even the tiniest acts of self-care can be deeply meaningful.

• Skincare to introduce a manageable self care ritual
• A journal for reflection and sense-making, because sometimes the thoughts are better out than in
• Incense or candles to create a sense of peace 

HELP WITH THE KIDS

Another one of the most repeated needs when asked?  Help with the kids.

• Offering babysitting or childcare
• Providing activities that encourage pockets of independent play and a little colour and joy
• Thoughtful storybooks that help children understand loss
• Simply showing up to share the load

Grieving parents are navigating their own heartbreak while also holding space for their children. Any extra support is a gift.

MOVEMENT

Movement and fresh air can be grounding during grief. Sometimes, it’s hard to motivate ourselves to go outside, so having a friend who gently encourages it helps.

• A walk, whether filled with words or in comfortable silence
• A swim in the sea or a lake
• A yoga class or another form of movement that helps process emotions and offers a sense of grounding

A CALM HOME & HEADSPACE

Loss changes a space.  It can be overwhelming to face tasks like clearing out belongings or reorganising a home that’s suddenly different.

• Helping with decluttering or cleaning
• Offering practical support for home organisation
• Journals or guided prompts to encourage reflection
• Cozy socks and soft blankets for comfort

LONG-TERM SUPPORT MATTERS

Grief doesn’t disappear after the funeral.  Sometimes, the hardest moments come months later when the check-ins have stopped, but the pain is still raw.  Anniversaries, birthdays, seasonal holidays; these milestones can bring a fresh wave of loss.

Being there after the initial wave of support fades is just as important.

We were never meant to do this alone.  We need each other - to bear witness to the highs and the lows, to sit beside each other in both the joy and the pain that’s inevitably going to hit as we move through life.  

And actually, there’s no more powerful reminder of this than loss.  At the end of the day, the only thing that truly matters is our connection to each other. 

So, when in doubt, just show up.  Even if it feels imperfect, even if you fumble your words.  Because showing up - truly showing up - is the greatest gift we can offer.

Kate x