Since having a baby, I’ve been asking myself this question daily: what happened to my brain?

Emails left half-written. Tea gone cold (again). A pitch deck open in one tab, Paw Patrol blasting on the tv. It feels like my brain’s been swapped for a sieve - and while I laugh about it, it’s also very real.

And if you’re in midlife or “very peri,” you’ll know the foggy feeling too. Overwhelm, hormone shifts, exhaustion - sometimes the basics feel like climbing a mountain.

This is exactly why I created We are The Helpful. Because when life feels heavy, what makes the difference isn’t “stuff.” It’s help. The kind of gestures that meet you where you are, and make things a little lighter.

What actually helps when she’s in the fog

If you’re wondering what to really do for a friend (or yourself) when the brain fog sets in, here’s where to start:

1. Food that doesn’t require thinking

The kind you can eat one-handed. Pre-made meals, fresh hampers, indulgent treats - anything that takes “what’s for dinner?” off her list.

2. A house reset

Sometimes the biggest gift is someone swooping in to tidy, clean, or reorganise. Not glamorous, but game-changing (if you can't do it, we have AMAZING Partners who can).

3. A small indulgence

Chocolate, macarons, a glass of wine. It doesn’t need to be big - it just needs to be hers.

4. Something that makes her feel like her

Not just Mum, carer, or plate-spinner-in-chief. Think cosy loungewear, self-care rituals, or confidence-boosting little luxuries.

5. Time

In any shape or form. A nap, a walk, a babysitter so she can have a moment alone. Time is the gift that always fits.

Why these gifts matter

None of this is groundbreaking. But when you’re in the haze, the basics matter more than ever.

The closer the connection, the more practical the gift can be - it's a total privilege to witness the ones we love in life's real moments. It’s not about “stuff”. It’s about gestures that leave a mark, deepen connection and make her feel seen and remembered — even when her own brain feels like it’s gone offline.

That’s the Art of Showing Up. And it’s what helpful gifting is all about.

Here are some FAQ's about postpartum + brain fog gifting

What is the best gift for a new mum with postpartum brain fog?
Skip the flowers. Send food she doesn’t have to cook, a service that takes something off her plate, or a small luxury that makes her feel like herself again.

How do I support a friend who’s overwhelmed or feeling very peri?
Be practical. Think meals, help with the kids, or confidence + comfort gifts like cosy loungewear or skincare. Most of all - just show up and check in. Be patient and supportive- she's experiences changes all over the place right now.

Why does practical gifting matter more than “stuff”?
Because the gestures that meet us in the moment are the ones that get remembered. They connect us more deeply than anything that just looks nice. They make us feel less alone, seen and truly supported.

Shop gifts that actually help here